1 - Dumpweed

It's understood, I said it many ways
Too scared to run, I'm too scared to stay
I said I'd leave, I could never leave her
And if I did, you know I'd never cheat her

But this I ask, it's what I want to know
How would you feel, if I should choose to go
Another guy, you think it'd be unlikely
Another guy, you think he'd wanna fight me

She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
On the go, it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

I heard it once, I'm sure I heard it twice
My dad used to give me all of his advice
He would say "you gotta turn your back and run now
Come on, son, you haven't got a chance now"

She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
On the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
On the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

Need a girl that I can train
Need a girl that I can train
Turn your back and run now
You haven't got a chance now

Need a girl that I can train
Need a girl that I can train
Turn your back and run now
You haven't got a chance now

2 - Don't Leave Me

Don't leave me all alone
Just drop me off at home
I'll be fine, it's not the first
Just like last time, but a little worse

And she said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said "don't let your future be destroyed by my past"
She said "don't let my door hit your ass"

One more chance, I'll try this time
I'll give you yours, I won't take mine
I'll listen up, pretend to care
Go on ahead, I'll meet you there

And she said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said "don't let your future be destroyed by my past"
She said "don't let my door hit your ass"

Let's try this one more time with feeling
One more time with feeling
One more time with feeling
One more time with feeling

She said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down
I said "don't let your future be destroyed by my past" Don't leave me all alone
Just drop me off at home
And I'll be fine

3 - Aliens Exist

Hey mom, there's something in the backroom
Hope it's not the creatures from above
You used to read me stories, as if my dreams were boring
We all know conspiracies are dumb

What if people knew that these were real (real)
I'd leave my closet door open all night
I know the CIA would say "what you hear is all hearsay"
Wish someone would tell me what was right

Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you

I am still the skeptic, yes, you know me (you know me)
Been best friends and will be 'til we die (die)
I got an injection of fear from the abduction
My best friend thinks I'm just telling lies, alright

Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you

Dark and scary, ordinary
Explanation, information
Nice to know ya, paranoia
Where's my mother, biofather

Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
Twelve majestic lies

4 - Going Away To College

Please take me by the hand
It's so cold out tonight
I'll put blankets on the bed I won't turn out the light

Just don't forget to
Think about me
And I won't forget you
"I'll write you once a week", she said

Why does it feel the same
To fall in love or break it off
And if young love is just a game
Then I must have missed the kick off

Don't depend on me
To ever follow through on
Anything, but
I'd go through Hell for you and

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me

I'll think about the times
She kissed me after class and
She put up with my friends
I acted like an ass

I'd ditch my lecture
To watch the girls play soccer
Is my picture
Still hanging in her locker?

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful

5 - What's My Age Again?

I took her out, it was a Friday night
I wore cologne to get the feeling right
We started makin' out and she took off my pants
But then, I turned on the TV

And that's about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And are still more amused by TV shows
What the hell is ADD, my friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

Then later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops and your husband's in jail
This state looks down on sodomy

And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And are still more amused by prank phone calls
What the hell is call ID, my friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

And that's about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And you still act like you're in freshman year
What the hell is wrong with me, my friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?

That's about the time that she broke up with me (what's my age again?)
No one should take themselves so seriously
With many years ahead to fall in line
Why would you wish that on me, I'll never wanna act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

What's my age again...

6 - Dysentery Gary

Got a lotta heart ache
He's a fuckin' weasel
His issues make my mind ache
Wanna make a deal

'Cause I love your little motions
You do with your pigtails
What a nice creation
Worth another night in jail

He's a player, diarrhea giver
Tried to grow his hair out, friends were listening to Slayer
I'd like to find him Friday night
Hanging out with mom, trying on his father's tights

Life just sucks, I lost the one
I'm giving up, she found someone
There's plenty more
Girls are such a drag

So all you little ladies
Be sure to choose the right guys
You'll come back to me maybe
I'll shower you with lies

Got a lotta heart ache
He's a fuckin' weasel
Decisions make my mind ache
Wanna make a deal

Ease away the problems and the pain
The girl chose the guy that makes you wanna kick and scream
All along, you wish that she would stay
Fuck the guy that took and ran away, yeah

He's a player, diarrhea giver
Tried to grow his hair out, friends were listening to Slayer
I'd like to find him Friday night
Hanging out with mom and trying on his father's tights

Life just sucks, I lost the one
I'm giving up, she found someone
There's plenty more
Girls are such a drag

Fuck this place, I lost the war
I hate you all, your mom's a whore
Where's my dog?
'Cause girls are such a drag

7 - Adam's Song

I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all

I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside

The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait 'til I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months, I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never step foot in my room again

You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside

The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait 'til I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside

The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait 'til I get home
To pass the time in my room alone

8 - All The Small Things

All the small things
True care, truth brings
I'll take one lift
Your ride, best trip

Always, I know
You'll be at my show
Watching, waiting
Commiserating

Say it ain't so, I will not go
Turn the lights off, carry me home
Na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na

Late night, come home
Work sucks, I know
She left me roses by the stairs
Surprises let me know she cares

Say it ain't so, I will not go
Turn the lights off, carry me home
Na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na

Say it ain't so, I will not go
Turn the lights off, carry me home
Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill
The night will go on, my little windmill

Say it ain't so, I will not go (na na na na na na na na na na)
Turn the lights off, carry me home (na na na na na na na na na na)
Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill (na na na na na na na na na na)
The night will go on, the night will go on (na na na na na na na na na na)
My little windmill

9 - The Party Song

Do you wanna come to a party
My friends picked me up in their truck at 11:30
This thing's at a frat house, but people are cool there
Reluctant, I followed, but I never dreamed

There would be someone there who would catch my attention
I wasn't out looking for love or affection
So I paid my 3 and the girls got in free
Shined the beer for tequila and we headed into the party

And then, in the backyard, some terrible ska band
Someone in the background was doing a keg stand
This place is so lame, all these girls look the same
All these guys have no game, I wish I would have stayed

In my bed, back at home, watching TV alone
Where I'd put on some porn or have sex on the phone
Far from people I hate, down from anywhere state
Trying to intoxicate girls to give them head after the party

And then, I saw her standing there
With green eyes and long blond hair
She wasn't wearing underwear, at least I prayed that
She might be the one
Maybe we'd have some fun
Maybe we'd watch the sun rise

But that night, I learned some girls try too hard
Na na na, na na na, na na na
Some girls try too hard
Na na na, na na na, na na na
Some girls try too hard to impress with the way that they dress
With those things on their chests and the things they suggest to me

I couldn't believe what this lady was saying
The names she was dropping and the games she was playing
She dated this guy who now rides for Black Flys
How she's down with the wise well-constructed disguise

Now, I'd rather go dateless than stay here and hate this
Her volume of makeup, her fake tits were tasteless
So I said I'd call her, but never would bother
Until I got turned down by another girl at a party

So when you see her standing there
With green eyes and long blond hair
She won't be wearing underwear and you'll discover
This girl's not the one and she'll never be fun
You should just turn and run
Because you'll find out that some girls try too hard

Na na na, na na na, na na na
Some girls try too hard
Na na na, na na na, na na na
And some girls try too hard to impress with the way that they dress
With those things on their chest and the things they suggest to me

Na na na, na na na, na na na
Some girls try too hard
Na na na, na na na, na na na
Some girls try too hard

10 - Mutt

He pauses shaving and he tells himself that he is the bomb
She has her curlers set, her credit cards are paying the funds
He's not that old, I've been told, a strong sexual goal
He goes out everyday, she goes every way, oh yeah
They don't even care at all

She's open, waiting for more
And I know he's only looking to score
And it is way too unhealthy, often they've typically
Been starved for attention before

She smokes a dozen and he doesn't seem to notice the smell
He took the seat off his own bike, because the way that it felt
He wants to bone this, I know she is ready to blow
They go out every night, his pants are super tight, oh yeah
They don't even care at all

She's open, waiting for more (she's open, waiting for more)
And I know he's only looking to score (he's only looking to score)
And it is way too unhealthy, often they've typically
Been starved for attention before

She's open, waiting for more
And I know he's only looking to score
And it is way too unhealthy, often they've typically
Been starved for attention before

11 - Wendy Clear

Let's take the boat out on the bay
Forget your job for just one day
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
It might be inappropriate because
Either way our band gets dropped, oh yeah
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

But I'd play with fire to break the ice
And I'd play with a nuclear device
Is it something I'll regret, why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

The three-date theory is getting old
Everyone's getting left out in the cold
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
So I'll see you with another guy
Who pretends not to hear you when you cry, oh yeah
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

But I'd play with fire to break the ice
And I'd play with a nuclear device
Is it something I'll regret, why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

I'll be movin' on
Movin' on
Movin' on, on, on
Movin' on
Movin' on
Movin' on, on, on

But I'd play with fire to break the ice
And I'd play with a nuclear device
Is it something I'll regret, why do I want what I can't get?
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

I wish it didn't have to be so bad
I wish it didn't have to be so bad
I wish it didn't have to be so bad

12 - Anthem

Home show, mom won't know
Run out the back door, he's passed out on the floor
Third time, been caught twice
Forgive our neighbor Bob, I think he humped the dog

But good things come to those who wait, 'cause she laid me
And mom and dad possess the key, instant slavery
No need to explain the plan, no need to even bother
I'll pack my bags, I swear I'll run, wish my friends were 21

White lies, bloodshot eyes
Breath of alcohol, stole it from the mall
How's Chris marked with lipstick
Better call their fathers, sleeping with your daughters

But good things come to those who wait, 'cause she laid me
And mom and dad possess the key, instant slavery
No need to explain the plan, no need to even bother
I'll pack my bags, I swear I'll run, wish my friends were 21

You don't belong, you left the kids to carry on
You planned their fall
Too bad you're wrong, don't need a mom, dad, slave, drive, song
I time bomb

I time bomb
I time bomb
I time bomb
I time bomb

Turn low the radio
I think I hear my dad yelling at the band

But good things come to those who wait, 'cause she laid me
And mom and dad possess the key, instant slavery
No need to explain the plan, no need to even bother
I'll pack my bags, I swear I'll run, wish my friends were 21

You don't belong, you left the kids to carry on
You planned their fall
Too bad you're wrong, don't need a mom, dad, slave, drive, song
I time bomb

I time bomb
I time bomb
I time bomb
I time bomb

I time bomb
I time bomb
I time bomb
I time bomb